“I think it is safe to say that I have suffered more than most over the last xx+ years. I have had suicidal ideations the majority of my life as an unmedicated patient of mental illness, and when I was diagnosed at the age of xx, medicaions did nothing but harm me physically and mentally for the following x years. I have been hospitalized approximately x times in x years, x times within the last x months. I have finally reached some level of happiness in my life, and I am here to show the world that if I did it, you can too. If I prevent so much as one person from harming themselves, and show them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I have accomplished my goal.”
Note: You can find Chris’ own website here.
Started seeing him at Flushing Square Rehabilitation Center
When reality became too stressful his delusions and hallucinations came to the fore.
If you challenged his delu and hall too much he would become discombaulated
You had to reflect back with just the right amount of reality-formulation … The amount that he could tolerate without him feelings intruded upon.
When the demons came the focus was on not engaging (which was their agenda) but ignoring[question]I’m unsure whether you think it’s me or my delusions.[/question] [answer]How do you see the difference? [/answer] [question]I’m real, my delusions are not, even if I can’t tell the one from the other. I thought you were the one who could differentiate between the two.[/question] [answer]You are your delusions. Read my notes on “Narrative Truths, Historical Truths,” or better yet read the book and tell me what you think.I am becoming God to his Christ.[/answer]
Psychologists at Queensboro were trained in Exorcism, a part of the institution’s community outreach program. I thus enlisted my “training” there with Chris
Job and his story
Job: You don’t worship God by being his puppet.
God will take all you fortunes away, but you don’t have many to begin with
developed relationship with accuser on computer, but rarely talked with him directly
Discharged from Queensboro to his father’s place
and I am now seeing him in my private practice.
Therapy enters a new phase when he gets in touch with web child abuse incidences.
As Christ (working closely with God) he is able to send all who those who fucked with his mind to hell.
over-identification with the Christ within. (Jungian over-identification of archetypes)
comments from another Christ who feels that i am not protecting his “earthly identity”… and another who claims to be the only real Christ a la Milton Rokeach
apophenia and the Internet …. on the Internet it’s hard to know if your schizophrenic or not
other patients who were living in hell: the first aids patient
Chris who was there because he was angry that he was left alone after parents died and aunt couldn’t deal with his insane behavior
the use of Space Quest to build a narrative and carrierd it along with the Internet after I left Queensboro
needs to be in real time
My own attempts to get out of Queensboro and establish my own private practice parrallel Chris’s.
Religious but not yet Christ… however, he would need to be Christ if he was to defeat the devil. The abuse at Queensboro… experience Christ-like punishment.
The boundaries of ego, body and identity
Continum from ideas of reference to command hallucinations
you are successful defeated the devil in his physical attempts to engage you and now the last battle will be in your head … in your dreams and in your interpretation of signs that other people give you
the signals either coming from the devil or misinterpreting a la Job
In order to absorb the abuse he had become Christ-like. I ended up mediating between God and Christ. By embracing the Christ within I could reach out closer to God than Chris.
The more he could touch the historical truth of the abuse … to verbalized and to share and thus ventilate it the less fantasistical the narrative became. This involves the use of a more realistic (historically believable) narrative. Use of Socratic dialogue to effect this.
Administration able to come up with a more realistic narrative truth and used a coverup to do battle with the historical truth which lay underneath.
The Quality of Care department was responsible for this under the guidance of Department of Human Resources undeer the rule of the Executive Director. Diamond hacked into their network
The Double Nihilism of Sartre.
Three Christs’ of Ypsilanti
Playing video game accusation: I told them that you were one of the abusers yet you didn’t hold it against me