Laura's Site

Laura,

This is what we agree:
Laura is a fictionalized character created by us so that you can elaborate, ventilate and share your story without revealing any personal identifying…
You will make efforts to come to your sessions.
You will also maintain contact with me through this your personal  site, as well as continue our discussion through private emails, texts …
Nothing goes public on this site unless, after discussion, we both agree.
The Private Section will only be accessible to you and me.

[question]they all hurt me every one of them they all betrayed me. I’m not even human anymore… everyone keeps toying with me …they will only talk to me to watch me suffer.[/question] [question]I keep hearing the thought: it’s my fault. It’s gone now but. I felt really guilty I don’t know why and I hated it but not really… because it …causes a lot of suffering but I know it’s just in my head.[/question]

She is angry at  Dee for  not understanding her… all the people whom she reaches out to fail her…. but it can’t be her for they are the professions , they know better … Since he doesn’t understand her she feels un-understandable

[question]I don’t deserve to be in this world. I feel lost. Have this feeling of dread and apprehension like I’m being condemned and kinda like I’m being held hostage or something . a gun to my head type of feeling. The food tastes disgusting. I wish I could erase this world. I hate everyone I wish everyone would just die.[/question]

She is to blame for beings so angry

Covert Narcissism Video says that her mother is to blame. … not only is this essential true but also I directly her anger at her mother where it belongs and not on herself.

Dee could rescue her but he turns out to be just like the rest.

Dr. Dee
Ive been going insane for three days now I don’t know what to do … i don’t think this is ever going to end. i can barely move and i was supposed to go to the job today and i cant just tell me what to do i cant go to your office or anything either and i dont want to i dont want to talk to anyone just tell me what to do…

D: continue texting me.  (See me face to face) Continue elaborating your feeling so that I can understand. If you don’t feel comfortable coming to my office, text from your room. Buy your own food… and if that’s too upsetting, have your mother buy it for you and just get it from the refrigerator and eat it in your room.

Here is a youtube video that I’d like to get your reaction to.
(before exchanging

videos on psychology Laura share viral videos and Dee tried to match here)
Also I’m kinda of worried about coming in your office I feel like there’s something wrong with my face … I can explode …I’m dangerous… i can’t control myself… i’m a werewolf (are there girl werewolfs?)… vampires require too much of a relationship

ll end up setting your office on your fire or something. but I wont do that right its completely ridiculous. I just want to make sure you wont let me do anything wrong.

…  I will work with you to help you not self destructive.

Dr. Dee sends link to a video on Counter Dependency

She sees the video as blaming her for her anger… whereas she was beginning to realize that her mother was to blame for her pain and self-doubts

I did cancel. Ive just been really disturbed by that video. I really couldnt stop obsessing over it. Whether I was that or not. But i think it might be just be because I always feel like a fraud so mabey it plays into that. thats the last time i ever watch videos like that again.I really regret it. never never never again.

[answer]What do you think of this video?[/answer]

I dont know why i always feel like a fraud i dont think i want you to tell me i cant handle anything right now. Even that last email i wrote like that because i get really arrogant/defensive when i get paraniod and feel like im being controlled. Ive just completely lost focus it completely just the

Dr. Dee Containment

Ok i feel a little better um ill let you know if i decide to come in tommorrow.
———-
You need to watch the video. its 45min long so watch at 10 im not coming in. I just need to be a 100% certain. Please I wont ask for anything else again.

Again im not trying to be anything its that you mentioned in your report Counter-Dependent and Borderline Personality and i was curous and I just happened to find this. I actually hate psychology because I dont understand it at all which is why im bringing this up. Thanks.

i dont know why this happened but i started feeling troubled for a bit and tried to distract myself but then out of nowhere i started thinking that i was gonna die and you were gonna die and everyone was gonna die and i started crying and screaming and i thought of slitting my throat and banging my head against something and was really angry and was hiting the sofa. This just happened like 5 mins ago.
[answer]

Anger at Dee feels overwhelming, explosive. This is appropriate anger bc Dee is mishandling the transference

Yet you are able to regain control. You need to manage these periods better.

Discussion about Project Parachute

In fact, if you can predict before it becomes extreme… any warning signs?
[/answer] I just spoke to my mom that if my father didnt leave i was gonna kill him. But i realized it doesnt matter because its not just him ..

The Slender Thread

they are all frauds. They’re all devils dressed up as angels. (See Chris) So its pointless to give a fuck about them. I even applauded my mother and those people at Queensboro for being such great actors and that i think they should all win a reward for best con-artist best manipulator because im really impressed with these people i really am i dont want to be part of these peoples lives …in fact i pretty much hate all people even this society is nothing but a zero sum con artist game. I should just destroy everyone because really were nothing but digusting parasites living on this earth

I dont know why i bother to keep on living. Even if i get better its not like there’s anything really to gain. I should really just die and become nothing. Thats what everything else is anyway and always will be. This world will probably be destroyed anyway. All roads lead to death and misery no matter what you try. Nature doesnt give a fuck about how much you want to live how much u want to be good. There is no good. Nature just wants to make u believe that its all pretty and wonderful and then snatch it away like the cold bitch it really is.

Ok I have a problem because I’m not sure whether I should come tomorrow because I’m not sure how I feel about it anymore and I believe that I may lack the ability to reflect upon myself and now I think it might be a little impossible to gain that ability so yeah I don’t know because I think I might have been looking for something but didn’t know what it was so now im just making a bunch of stuff up to feel like i do know what it is. do you have any suggestions.

Just wanna say thanks for your help. I figured it out now so I’m fine so ya thanks alot.

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